Been Forever...But Nothing New!

I don't even know how long it has been since I posted on here. The sad thing is that absolutely nothing new has happened. Work is still work, Gizmo is still a pain in the butt and still too cute to actually get mad at. The biggest thing that has happened to me is that I finally got a Blackberry. Pathetic I know.

Most of the things that have happened, have been changes on the inside. There has been alot of personal growth and much of my hard work is being rewarded. Most of the growth is too personal to share via the world wide web, but I can say that I am stronger. I am slowly starting to find the stability that I have been searching for, for my entire life. Everything around me is changing. Everyone around me is changing. I am growing and changing. Somedays I feel as I am being left behind. Like somehow my divorce has put me years behind my high school classmates and even my co-workers. Aren't I supposed to have a couple of kids by now? Aren't I supposed to be married and buying a house? I still have my moments of shame, like somehow I am walking around with a big, scarlet letter on my chest. I am slowly learning that where I am "supposed" to be is right here. Rebuilding my life right here in my little apartment. Starting over completely from scratch. I don't need to be married. I certaintly don't need kids (I can't figure out my dog). I am exactly where I need to be. I find myself getting in a hurry and having to fall back on my knees and ask God again to make me content where I am in life.

Everyday I have prayed for peace; and slowly, very slowly, I am finding it. That is all that is new.