Codependancy

Josh's recent absence has shown me that most of the time codependancy is a pain in the butt. There was a time, not so long ago, that I loved living and being alone. I loved having my own space and loved having my own time. Then all that changed. Some guy came around and now I have complete breakdowns when I am alone. I have to call everyone I know because the silence in my apartment is driving me up the wall. My entire life I preached independance...now I depend on someone else. WHAT HAPPENED???????? The ironic thing is that Josh will come back tomorrow night and I will wish I had the apartment to myself again! Oh the vicious circle that is codependancy!!!

Lonely

Tonight I am lonely. Josh has been in Idaho since Wednesday and won't be back until Sunday. I couldn't go for a plethera of reasons but mainly because I couldn't get off work on Thursday. I don't like being away from Josh and this is the longest we have been apart since we got married 8 months ago. I haven't really made friends up here and not having Josh has really shown me just how few friends I have. In some ways I have enjoyed my time alone, but mostly I just miss Josh soo much it hurts. I didn't realize how accustomed I have gotten to having him lying next to me in bed at night. In the last two nights, I have woken up several times and reached for Josh. I had a few moments of panic when he wasn't there.

This is probably an overly dramatic blog. Josh is coming home in two days. In the mean time, Gizmo and I are going to watch movies, eat ice cream, and vegitate.