One Year Clean and Sober

Ladies and Gentlemen, Tuesday, December 8th will mark the one year anniversary of my giving up Ben & Jerry's. That's right, I have not consumed a glorious morsel of the joy and merriment that is those wonderful gentlemen's ice cream creation! Woohoo! To celebrate I think I will take myself to downtown Boise and make a stop at Ben & Jerry's! One year of sobriety is plenty for me!!

Tuesday also marks the one year anniversary of moving to Idaho. The past year has been full of challenge, renewal, pain, and the beginning of healing. I am soo happy to be home and soo ready to move out of Idaho!! My job is going well but I know that I don't want to spend the rest of my life at DirecTv. I have no idea what the next year is going to bring, but I do know that whatever it is I will be happy!

Thankful

In this, my first Thanksgiving home in 3 years, I am taking time to reflect and be thankful. My list is very different this year than it has been in previous years. I am thankful for:

1. Four days off from work - nothing like not having to go to DTV for 4 days straight!! No getting screamed at or being called nasty names over HBO! As a direct result, my therapist is getting 4 days off too!! You're welcome! ;)

2. Confusing friends and mixed signals...will not elaborate, but I enjoy the mystery and the chase. Definitely not bored, and confusion is something I am more than well acquainted with.

3. Cheesecake - self explanatory and if you have never had cheesecake take one bite and you will be thankful too!

4. Family - I have a wonderful set of parents that are with me every step of the way, even thought at times I am sure they wish they could change their phone number!! :)

5. Re-runs of West Wing and Gilmore Girls - it is my thing, leave it alone! :)

Stress With Joy

So I have decided that no matter how long I wait and no matter what I do, life isn't going to become simple....ever. I suppose if I moved to the mountains, lived in a grass hut, and lived off a staple of government cheese; there might be a few less complications. However, that isn't going to happen any time soon. I have allergies to pine.

All in all though, no matter how stressed I am and no matter how busy things are...I am happy. I have my moments of extreme insanity and breakdowns...poor Amy, she gets to listen to me, but overall I am thriving. Just when I think things are quiet, something comes up. I take on too much. I haven't even had time to indulge my Ben & Jerry's cravings. That's right. I have been clean and sober for 5 months!

There are soo many things to be thankful for. My Scentsy business is starting off strong, thanks to family! :) I still hate my job, however I am thankful to have a job. School is...well...I am really hoping not to screw it up this time!! I am spending more and more time with family. I must say that my little brother is a rockstar on the football field! I am soo excited for and proud of my cousins who have bought/built houses and graduated college! My cousin Ethan threw a fundraiser for Make A Wish and raised more money than anyone had in his school previously. He is only 15!! He is a great kid! My big brother and sister-in-law continue to amaze me with their hard work and their willingness to give. Keri recently took my catalogues to work and the result was a great success and my biggest Scentsy party to date. I am soo thankful! My parents have been so incredibly supportive. I am constantly amazed at their continued love and support. My mom has also been the recipient of my irrational calls, yet she is very patient and ever comforting. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I am definitely more than a little astonished. I don't deserve any of the good things that have come my way recently.

Tomorrow night is going to be great and I can't wait to post pictures. I am going over to Mom & Dad's. We are going to make popcorn balls, caramel apples, drink apple cider, and watch Charlie Brown's Great Pumpkin. I am really looking forward to it. I can't get enough of spending time with my family.

Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's Off To Work I Go!!!

I live at Directv. When I say live, I mean I wake up, drive two minutes, park, and enter the place of cruel and unusual punishment. Some of you may think I am being overly dramatic, but I am not. Imagine if you will, a land in which grown adults will throw a child's tantrum over something as simple as a $5.00 billing error. A place where it is ok to demand instant gratification and then when it is not provided because it is humanly impossible to provide, call someone young enough to be their daughter foul names and hang up on them.

Right now at work we are incredibly busy. It seems everyone is calling in to complain about something or cancel their services. Of course, it is my job to convince them to stay. On top of work being crazy busy, they have implemented mandatory overtime. While the money is good, burn out is becoming a quick reality. This week I have one day off. After Saturday it will be another 14 days before I see the light of day. I got to work in the dark and come home in the dark. I am thankful for work, but there does come a point when enough is enough!

Scentsy

So I have decided that with working 50 hours a week and being a full time student, I wasn't nearly busy enough. I have signed up to be a scentsy consultant. I am just getting started but I think it might be a great way to pay for school books or just a little extra cash on the side. I have spent the entire weekend getting organized and printing off labels. If any of you don't have already have a Scentsy consultant and want to order or know more...you can always go to www.scentsy.com/lindsay23 I waive shipping for everyone here in Idaho!! :) Have a great evening!!

Another Year Older

Wednesday was my birthday. Frankly I was dreading the big 2-5. I didn't do my usual planning and driving people nuts for 6 months with talk of my personal national holiday. I didn't write the usual lists of things I wanted or of things I wanted to do. I was very low key. This year I was quiet. It turned out that turning 25 isn't so bad. For one, my car insurance went down $11 a month! Apparently now that I am an older, more mature person, State Farm now trusts that I have matured as a driver.

Mom and Amy picked me up and we over to the Cheesecake Factory for a delicious meal. Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake is like the greatest thing in the world. There is something seriously wrong with how much I love that place! Forget Disney Land! Cheesecake Factory is the happiest place on Earth!! Mom surprised me with a sapphire necklace from her and Dad. I was especially surprising because they had already bought me a wicked awesome bike that I can take off of awesome jumps and get like 5 feet of air on! It was so fun to have dinner with the girls and just chat. It was the first birthday in 3 years that I have spent home and I couldn't be happier.

Loving the Day-to-Day Monotany

I haven't posted a blog in months...literally. Alot has changed but now I am settling into the rhythm of day-to-day life. In July I finally moved out of my parents's house and got my own place in Boise. I live a literal 2 minutes from my job and am enjoying not having to spend more than $38 a month in gas. I finished up Summer term at school and am looking forward to the fall.

The best part of my life is that it is quiet. After years of constant drama and not knowing what tomorrow might bring, I have peace. I wake up in the morning, go to work, pay my bills, come home, and do it all over again the next day. It is WONDERFUL!!!! This may seem boring to some, but after 3 years of job losses, un-ending medical bills, hospital stays, over-drawn bank accounts, lawsuits, garnishments, in-law drama, disastrous apartments, lies, tears, and complete destruction; I am quite content to live in what many would call a state of monotany. My apartment is clean, bills are paid in full before they are due, and I can actually come home and relax.

There are still days that are rough and I struggle emotionally, but because I am not in a constant state of anxiety, I am able to push through and am slowly starting to heal. The best part is that I am starting to make friends and re-join society.

I love my new apartment. It is perfect for Gizmo and I. My complex has a pool, hot tub, and a gym that I have taken full advantage of. It is great. Life is looking wonderfully boring and I know I have a bright future.

Student....Once Again

In the past two years I have carried many changing titles: Girlfriend, Fiance, Wife, Student, Ex... well you get the point. Well I am trying on one of these titles once again. No...I don't have any "special announcements" or "save-the-date" cards going out ANYTIME soon. I am actually going back to school...again.

I started school yesterday...three days behind. It was sort of a $20,000 impulse purchase yesterday morning. I decided to take out student loans and begin the term. For some this may shock you, but for those who know me best this will come as no surprise at all. I am sort of an impulse shopper. Once I set my mind to something, I want it and I want it now. However, I have made a vow that no more will my impulse purchases include putting a hole in my body. I still can't sleep on the right side of my body almost two months later!!

My last attempt at going back to school ended miserably as finals week hit right smack in the middle of the chaos that was going on in my personal life. However, Eastern Oregon University has forgiven my 2 F's and I am now a full-time Distance Ed student. I am actually really nervous about this whole thing. I am sure once I settle into a routine I will be ok. It is just a really big step and I know that if I mess up this time, there are no more chances. I know that God will provide and as long as I work hard I will soon be able to claim a new title...College Graduate.

Seattle, - Also Commonly Referred to as Heaven!

Today I returned from the happiest place on Earth. No I did not go to Disney Land! I was in Seattle for three glorious days. Seattle is possibly the most wonderful place on the planet. Ok, so I exaggerate a bit. All I know is that I haven't been that relaxed and haven't had that much fun, in I don't know how long.

Wednesday I landed at SeaTac airport and boarded a bus that took me to downtown Seattle where I was to get on another bus that would take me to Jeff and Lauren's apartment on Capitol Hill. Of course, I couldn't just go straight to an empty apartment. I decided to wander around the city. I am sure I looked rather nomadic with my roller suit case and carry on bags. I now totally understand the whole shopping cart thing. At one point I found myself looking for a homeless guy with a spare just to take some of the pressure off my aching back! Eventually I got tired and decided to eat at a restaurant that epitomizes all that makes Seattle great! Ok, so McDonalds isn't exactly fine dining, however I am convinced that everything tastes better in the shadow of the Space Needle.

Friday I spent the day wandering around Seattle, eating lunch with Lauren, and going down to Pikes Place Market. It was at Pike's Place that I discovered something about myself. I am a stuck up tourist! I found myself not taking pictures with all the other people around me because I wanted to come off as a local or someone who has at least lived in Seattle. I did live in the Seattle area for almost 3 years...doesn't that make me a step above the average tourist? I mean really, I was visiting friends - not touring. Friday night Jeff, Lauren, and I made dinner, went to ice cream, and then made homemade cinnamon rolls. Ok, so Lauren made the dough but I helped put on the cinnamon and roll up the dough!

Saturday was my favorite day of all. We went to Bainbridge Island which meant that I got to ride a ferry. I LOVE FERRIES!! I was taking sneaky pictures on my cell phone. Like I said, I am not the average tourist and could not appear to be so. We spent the day walking around the Island and looking through little shops. I ordered a Mimosa at lunch and quickly learned that champagne on an empty stomach has interesting effects on a person. Let's just say I was relaxed. After a day full of walking, wine tasting, eating, and ferry riding I was beyond tired. I ended up going to bed very early after dinner.

This trip was exactly what I needed to relax and clear my head after many stressful months. I haven't had much clarity on where my life is going or what I am supposed to do, but I have decided that it is time for big changes. While a tattoo is definitely something that is still on the table...the change I am about to make is bigger than ink that is permanently attached to my body. I am going to be moving to Seattle. I am going back. I am hoping in the next couple of months I will be able to get myself in a position that will allow me to move. This is just something I need to do for Gizmo and I. I am excited about the future for the first time in 6 months.

Short Update

I am currently sitting in Seattle, and have time for a very short update. Work is going well. I am not exactly enjoying my job, nor am I fulfilled in what I do; however I am paying off my bills consistently and that is worth the obscene hours I am working. My personal life is...well...interesting but I am determined to not write anymore depressing posts b/c I am determined to move on with my life. I have no interest in dating or marriage or boys in general at this point. I do have an interest in being self sufficient and successful. I am working on going back to school and eventually getting my law degree. I don't really know yet. I think I am ready for a change...a BIG change! I don't know what that might be but I will keep my eyes open!

Amazed

I just have to take this moment and say that I am amazed at God's provision. One of the perks/downfalls of being in the circumstance that I am in, is that I am having to start all over again. After living on my own for 4 years, being married, working, and living the life of an adult, I am back to square one. In so many ways this is a blessing because it feels like I am getting a second chance at life. The downfall and not so great part is that when I say I am starting over...I am literally starting over. Until less than a month ago, I didn't even have a bank account. Also, starting over means working a job that pays me half what I was making. This wouldn't be a big deal except the one thing in my life that didn't start over are bills...

Ok...back to God's provision! It seems like every week my tiny little paychecks go even further than I thought they would. They stretch and stretch and stretch! It is like my paychecks are Gumby (ok maybe not Gumby, but you get the point)!! Not only has God blessed my paychecks, but He has also worked through the creditors that are owed. Almost every time I have called to make payments on a bill, I am offered a settlement knocking literally $100's off my bills. I am not even being sent to collections!!! This is allowing me to pay bills off quicker and move on to the next item on my list. I am soo thankful!

PRAISE GOD FOR HIS PERFECT PLAN AND PROVISIONS!!!!

The Nothing Is Really New Blog

I noticed today that I have not written a blog in quite sometime. Truth is, there isn't much to report. I am going into my final week of training at Directv and then will roll right into my new schedule on the floor. That means tomorrow (Sunday) is my last day off for 9 days. This is also my last weekend of freedom for at least 3 months. How am I spending my last Saturday of un-attachment? I am laying on the couch taking cat naps and watching the Love Comes Softly series on Hallmark. I do have to say that the movies have nothing on the books! My whole family is out of town so I am also playing zoo keeper to 2 cows, 3 horses, 3 dogs, a bunch of chickens who continually plot my demise, and 1 duck. Luckily for everyone involved my parental units are coming back home tomorrow.

I have much to be thankful for. In the past couple of weeks God has blessed me with a few creature comforts that I had lost when I first arrived in Idaho. I have a bank account. My very own bank account. You don't really know what a luxury a checking account is until you don't have it for three months and are cashing checks at Walmart. I have been able to pay bills. I have a ways to go but God is definitely blessing my little paychecks and I am slowly getting back on my feet. There are still huge hurdles to jump over and healing to be done, but everyday is a little better. On those days when I feel like getting out of bed is too much of a struggle, God picks me up and gets me through my days!

From Unemployed to Employee

Ladies and Gentlemen:

LINDSAY MARIE MOODY THOMPSON IS EMPLOYED!!! That's right. I have competed two days of training and only have 4 weeks and 3 days to go until I am fully certified to answer the phone! If I think about that too much it kind of depresses me...5 weeks of training to answer a phone?

Moving on...

I am an official member of the Directv team and have the badge to prove it! I don't know if you all know this but I'm a pretty big deal, I mean people know me! I badge in and out every time I enter or leave the building. I get to take advantage of every channel and every piece of high tech equipment that Directv offers. The best part...IT IS ALL FREE!!! HOORAY!! Oh ya, and I get a paycheck that pays the bills. Small detail.

In all seriousness I am very very thankful that God has provided me with this job. The training is a bit tedious but I am reminding myself that so many people are out of work right now. In my training class there are three people that use to work for Micron and are taking a HUGE pay cut just to support their families. Out of 800 applicants 24 of us were chosen. I would say that it was simply a work of God that I was able to find a job.

God's Business Card

God's business card does not contain the following job description:
GOD
PEOPLE PLEASER

I have recently discovered that, although I completely understand this, I live as though I think God's sole purpose is to give me what I want, when I want it.

I have been reading the book of Exodus and have been so convicted by the actions of the Israelites. God had just performed the most amazing miracle by parting the Red Sea and delivering the Israelites from their slavery to Egypt, and what do they do? They complain because they are hungry and begin to wish they were back in Egypt. Because God's provision for them didn't look like what they thought it should, they complained and wished they were back in slavery. I am an Israelite.

I have been extremely reluctant to openly discuss what I am going through in my personal life, and have hid it through witty posts. However, God is teaching me so much that I simply must share it, in hopes that maybe it speaks to one of the people who read this blog. A little over two months ago, God delivered me out of an abusive and destructive marriage. He parted my Red Sea. He took the broken relationship with my parents, brought about reconciliation in less than a week after three years of not speaking, and used them to bring me to safety. Since that time, I have been provided with food, shelter, clothing, a car, a job, etc. I should have been grateful...

I have grumbled. I have complained. I have (unbelievably) been desperate to return to Washington and to the relationship I was so desperately seeking refuge from. I have been so focussed on everything I gave up when I left Washington, that I have failed to see the miracle God has worked in my life and the provisions He has given me. I have cried and complained over having my brand new car taken away, and completely ignored the 1991 Volvo that was a gift and has given me freedom and the ability to find a job. I have been disappointed in being hired at Directv; after all, I worked for an Immigration attorney in Bellevue, and that is what I really wanted. I have spent hours moping over losing my precious cell phone. Yet, it seems that every time I need to make a call, my mom's is readily available. I have been embarrassed and griped about having to live with my parents, when so many women in my circumstance end up homeless or in a women's shelter. I have mourned the friends that I have lost due to misunderstanding and lies told about me, all the while failing to be thankful for the family and friends here that have been by my side every step of the way. The list goes on and on. It has been so humbling to see myself through the mirror of the Bible. Don't we all want to identify with the heroes of Scripture? Who wants to identify with the bad examples?

To wrap it up, I have learned the following: God's provision is perfect and it rarely comes in the package that we think it should.

Living the Lyrics

What have I got to do to make you love me?
What have I got to do to make you care?
What do I do when lightning strikes me?
And I wake to find that you’re not there?

What do I do to make you want me?
What have I got to do to be heard?
What do I say when it’s all over?

What do I do to make you love me?
What have I got to do to be heard?
What do I do when lightning strikes me?

When sorry seems to be the hardest word.

Unemployed

So I am still living in the land of the unemployed. It isn't so bad really; as long as you enjoy having no money and nothing to do all day, I highly recommend the life of the unemployed. I have compiled a list of things to do to pass the time, while jobless:

1. Fold and unfold socks
2. Alphabetize your dvds according to production studio and title
3. Change your dog's outfit three times a day (this applies to all kinds of pets and inanimate objects)
4. Catch up on Beverley Hills 90210 re-runs (the original series)
5. Sit a chair in the middle of a room and spin while staring at the ceiling
6. Watch every dvd you own, in the order that you bought it. If you can't remember when you bought it, watch it according to the date it was made.
7. Count calories and write it down in your planner. It will have lots of space because you don't have a job to fill the pages
8. Chase squirrels and other small creatures
9. Impatiently stand by the mailbox every day waiting for the government check that President Obama promised everyone during his campaign. Spread that wealth!!!
10. Spend entirely too much time on blogs, Myspace, and Facebook.

Oh yeah...Look for a Job!

So you see, there is plenty to do! The unemployed person should never be bored.

In all seriousness, if anyone hears of a job opening in the Boise please let me know. I have been on interview after interview and am told I am in the top 2, then they go with someone else. There is only soo many times I can do the above-mentioned list. I think I have completed it like 15 times in the last two months!

Interview

I have a job interview on Tuesday morning at 9:00 a.m. Not only does this mean that I could possibly become employed, but also that I will have to get out of bed at a time I usually do not acknowledge as a legitimate part of my day. At any rate, it would be a great job. The position is working at the Ada County Courthouse as a clerk for the Juvenile Court. I am actually really excited about the opportunity, as job interviews are difficult to come by these days. I know that the job market is difficult everywhere, but seems particularly difficult in Idaho. We will just have to see!!

I am just hoping that they offer "Victory Over Japan Day" off as a paid holiday. I would hate to have to turn down the job. Especially when it has so much promise. But as I always say, "Patriotism First, Job Second!"

Self Reflection and Ben & Jerry's

I am finding that during this time of transition in my life, I am learning more about myself than perhaps I really want to know. Most of the stuff I am learning is rather unflattering. I never really thought that highly of myself, so I find it a bit surprising that the more revelations I have, the more my ego takes a hit.

I have to make sure that I don't spend too much time in reflection because I quickly become depressed and begin doing my favorite hobby...stress eating. Oh the joys of Ben and Jerry's!! I don't believe one can truly go through any sort of joy or struggle in life without the help of Chunky Monkey, Chubby Hubby, or Fish Food. Life just isn't complete without those morsels of deliciousness!



This, of course, is dangerous territory to enter into both for your waistline and your budget. As you eat these succulent morsels of joy and wonderment, your waistline expands. As your waistline expands, your pants then, in turn, seem to grow smaller. Your pocket book begins to feel the pinch due to the mass amounts of ice cream consumption and elevated clothing costs. Ben and Jerry's is not a cheap habit!!! If only there were a patch to help kick the addiction. Perhaps an IV that continually pumps the mysterious delectible ingredients into one's blood stream to take the edge off the cravings. I think I just found my calling in life!!! :)


At any rate, until I can get some funding and FDA approval on my new, brilliant invention, y'all might want to start buying up shares of Ben and Jerry's stock. I have a feeling that if things don't change soon, I will be single handedly pulling the United States out of the recession!!

New Year...New Life

So, I have decided that 2009 is going to be an amazing adventure. I get the unique gift of literally starting over. I don't always view this as a gift, so give me 5 minutes and I am sure that I will have a totally different take on life (consider yourself lucky that you caught me in a good 30 seconds). I get a new home, a new job, a new cell phone (hey, it is the small things in life!), a new hobby, and a new adventure every day. Just a short 4 weeks ago, I thought I had my whole life figured out and there were very few HUGE surprises left.

Oh contrare!

I am learning to knit, people!! KNIT!!! I know, excitement at every turn! Sure I have traded my cute little 2007 Jetta for my mom's 1991 Volvo and I am now frantically looking for a couple of kids to rent and take to a soccer game because I now have the perfect car for it. And, of course, I have traded the life of the self-sufficient, employed person for a life that closely resmbles that of life of the characters in Failure To Launch (except they have jobs....hmmmm...I have to work on that one). All I need now is a visor and some stirrup stretch pants and I will have officially hit middle age!! I wonder if there are any places around here that have Bingo night....However, I have discovered that having mom around is rather convenient for a homecooked meal and clean clothes! There are days I wonder why I ever left the nest in the first place.

In all seriousness, my parents have been amazing to me and have been worth ALOT more than laundry and food. My mom has been an amazing person to talk to and my dad is the safe place that I have missed for the past 4 years. They have stopped at nothing to help me spiritually, physically, and emotionally. For the first time in years, I am feeling truly loved and wanted. It has been amazing and I hope everyone has parents as awesome as mine. I am almost hoping I never have to move out! :) I love being around my little brother every day. He is such an interesting little person full of fun.

Overall, I think that 2009 is going to be a promising year full of surprises and getting to know "Lindsay" again. If y'all are around Kuna, Idaho and want to hang out, just let me know. It is a pretty good bet that I will be here! :)

Happy New Year!!!!!