Biggest Loser...Beware MAJOR Venting!!!!!

Ok, so Josh and my favorite tv show is Biggest Loser. We watch it religiously every Tuesday. Since the beginning of this season I have been irritated and over the weeks this has eaten away until I am ready to explode.

I started out instantly hating the Brown Team. They are evil; especially Vicki! I loathe her (loathe may be too tame). Then, after a couple of episodes, I really really started disliking Heba. In recen episodes that dislike and loathing has turned into deep anger and irritation beyond words. I HATE THE BLUE TEAM!!!!! They are conniving, sneeky, poor sports, and just evil. I hate that they are beating the Black Team. The Black team has a great attitude and soo much focus and drive. They are genuinely great people who have the right focus. Tonight I cried as Phil went home.

Did I mention that I HATE THE BLUE TEAM!!!!!!!!!!! I wish evil upon them (I know that is bad!!!) Josh was laughing earlier b/c of the sheer venom that I was projecting towards the tv. I get angry just thinking about it. Why do they have to be sooo evil?????????? AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Election Fever

I don't know about anyone else but I have Election Fever. It is a condition that is developed when an individual has watched WAAAAY too much news and has consequently developed an acute case of anxiety and random ticks. The sheer activity of the twitching then, in turn, causes the body tempture to rise. Thus, Election Fever.

I know that this may sound far fetched and perhaps a bit over the top, but at this moment in my life I swear that I have this condition. My body and mind are on complete over load. My emotions have been toyed with and I find that I am liable to break down at any moment. Such shows as ER, Law and Order SVU, and all Hallmark commercials have been rendered off limits as they often reduce me to tears.

The only cure is to turn off all cable news channels and stop listening to the commentators. That of course does not work because like all addictions, I have become emotionally and physically addicted to the chaos.

My only hope is for November 4th to come so I can decide whether or not I am going to be moving to Canada on November 5th.

What Did I Get Myself In To?!?!?!?

It is 11:54 on a working night. I have to be up at 6 am and have another two hours of homework to complete before tomorrow. I must admit that I totally underestimated how difficult it would be to go back to school with a full time job and a full time husband. I have 6 papers in Theatre due tomorrow and a big assigment in another class due as well. On top of that I have four chapters of discussion to catch up on in Microeconomics. That, of course, means that I have to read those four chapters.

I understand the immense benefits that await me upon my graduation, however I am two years out from those rewards and three weeks into the 1st term of my junior year of college. My husband has been amazing. He has cooked, cleaned, ran errands, put together a chair and a difficult desk, and put up with my stressed out tears. I am soo blessed to have him. All of this makes me feel even more guilty about not spending more time and energy on my marriage and on Josh. He assures me that he doesn't feel neglected and has no problem being here to support me, but there is that part of me that is eager to be the perfect wife. I feel as though I am not only failing miserably at school (that's dumb b/c I have straight A's) but I am failing at home to.

Am I selfishly pursuing my own passions and desires at the cost of my husband and marriage?? I have a bizillion questions that I can not answer and frankly don't have the energy to explore much further. What I do know is that I am exhausted and sitting here blogging is not getting my papers done and not getting me into bed any faster.

ugh

Whew....Made It!!

Well, I made it through the first week of school. I have discovered just how undisciplined I am. I had most of the week off of work so I had BIG plans of all the house/school work I was going to get done. I got done.....ZIP!!! I waited until 8:30 tonight to complete my Econ assignments and the house is still a disaster zone. I didn't think it was going to be so hard to get back into "student mode" after three years....I was sooooo wrong! I found so many more interesting things to do than school work. I had lunch with Josh, went shopping, put together my desk and school supplies (yes I purchase a few), and generally just floated through the week. In a vain attempt to be productive I went to Starbucks for a few hours on Friday. I thought that perhaps if I sat in the store, typed away at my laptop, and sipped my venti non-fat extra foam caramel machiatto, that I would at least look the part of student if no actually become one. Didn't work.

Oh well, I am sure it will get easier and motivation will return when I least expect it. In the mean time I am back to cramming and procrastination. I must say that I feel quite at home!!