The 10 Year Plan - Am I Supposed To Have One?

I was having a conversation with a friend last night. They mentioned that my dream of quitting my job and living a life of leisure might be disruptive to my 10 year plan. Our conversation took another turn, but that comment has stuck with me.

For the past 20 months my life focus has been in the moment. I have been in survival mode. Wake up, shower, go to work, come home, pay bills, sleep through the night, wake up the next morning, and do it all again. The idea of looking past my day-to-day activity has been scary, so I have simply ignored it. I don't like to open up to people and I find that I hide any substance I might have with humor and ditzy conversations. Only when I truly feel safe and trust someone will I allow them insight into who I am as a person. I have spent most of the night over-analyzing this and have decided that in 10 years I would like to have accomplished the following:

1. buy a house
2. have opened myself up to someone enough to allow myself to fall in love and get married
3. have kids
4. find a sense of security in myself and not look for it in those around me
5. view the future as an amazing adventure rather than a scary unknown
6. TRUST

Most of the things on my list I would like to accomplish before 10 years. In fact all of it is something I would like to happen within the next 2-5 years. I guess my list will be a measuring stick for me reflect on where I am 35/36.

In the past few months I have started opening myself to the possibility of new things and relationships and adventures. I have met new people, made new friends, gone on an amazing trip to California, and found that I have the capacity to actually "feel" again. I no longer have the desire to be a hermit who works all the time. I am no longer content to spend 70 hours a week working and burrying myself in the fascinating world of NFL Sunday Ticket and all things DirecTv. It has been terrifying at times, but I want to be brave enough to date again and trust a man with my heart. I don't want to be scared any more.

My birthday is in a couple of weeks and I am making my resolution: 25 was about healing, but 26 will be about living!