Lately I have been focussing on spending time with family. I love hanging out at mom and dad's house and watching my little brother play football. No matter how stressed or hurt I am, nothing relaxes me more than seeing my parents. I find that when I am excited, even about the tiniest things (which happens frequently) the first phone call I want to make is to them. I am building a relationship every day with them and I feel soo blessed that God has brought healing and growth to our relationship. =)
I have also been cutting back on work. Since July I have been working almost non-stop and it was taking a toll. It has been hard, but I am slowly eliminating over time and focussing more on getting out and living rather than living at DirecTv. In two weeks I am headed to a La Grande for a long relaxing weekend. Life is good and I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Life is Good
I have to say...life is good! I am happy, healthy, have a great job, and great friends. Every day brings new challenges and new confidence. I feel so blessed to be where I am at and the growth that has occurred in my life. I am taking life as it comes and I am embracing every trial and good thing tha comes my way!! I have blogged in the past about working out and weight loss, well I finally feel confident enough to post some before and after pics!!
Sunday, September 5, 2010
The 10 Year Plan - Am I Supposed To Have One?
I was having a conversation with a friend last night. They mentioned that my dream of quitting my job and living a life of leisure might be disruptive to my 10 year plan. Our conversation took another turn, but that comment has stuck with me.
For the past 20 months my life focus has been in the moment. I have been in survival mode. Wake up, shower, go to work, come home, pay bills, sleep through the night, wake up the next morning, and do it all again. The idea of looking past my day-to-day activity has been scary, so I have simply ignored it. I don't like to open up to people and I find that I hide any substance I might have with humor and ditzy conversations. Only when I truly feel safe and trust someone will I allow them insight into who I am as a person. I have spent most of the night over-analyzing this and have decided that in 10 years I would like to have accomplished the following:
1. buy a house
2. have opened myself up to someone enough to allow myself to fall in love and get married
3. have kids
4. find a sense of security in myself and not look for it in those around me
5. view the future as an amazing adventure rather than a scary unknown
6. TRUST
Most of the things on my list I would like to accomplish before 10 years. In fact all of it is something I would like to happen within the next 2-5 years. I guess my list will be a measuring stick for me reflect on where I am 35/36.
In the past few months I have started opening myself to the possibility of new things and relationships and adventures. I have met new people, made new friends, gone on an amazing trip to California, and found that I have the capacity to actually "feel" again. I no longer have the desire to be a hermit who works all the time. I am no longer content to spend 70 hours a week working and burrying myself in the fascinating world of NFL Sunday Ticket and all things DirecTv. It has been terrifying at times, but I want to be brave enough to date again and trust a man with my heart. I don't want to be scared any more.
My birthday is in a couple of weeks and I am making my resolution: 25 was about healing, but 26 will be about living!
For the past 20 months my life focus has been in the moment. I have been in survival mode. Wake up, shower, go to work, come home, pay bills, sleep through the night, wake up the next morning, and do it all again. The idea of looking past my day-to-day activity has been scary, so I have simply ignored it. I don't like to open up to people and I find that I hide any substance I might have with humor and ditzy conversations. Only when I truly feel safe and trust someone will I allow them insight into who I am as a person. I have spent most of the night over-analyzing this and have decided that in 10 years I would like to have accomplished the following:
1. buy a house
2. have opened myself up to someone enough to allow myself to fall in love and get married
3. have kids
4. find a sense of security in myself and not look for it in those around me
5. view the future as an amazing adventure rather than a scary unknown
6. TRUST
Most of the things on my list I would like to accomplish before 10 years. In fact all of it is something I would like to happen within the next 2-5 years. I guess my list will be a measuring stick for me reflect on where I am 35/36.
In the past few months I have started opening myself to the possibility of new things and relationships and adventures. I have met new people, made new friends, gone on an amazing trip to California, and found that I have the capacity to actually "feel" again. I no longer have the desire to be a hermit who works all the time. I am no longer content to spend 70 hours a week working and burrying myself in the fascinating world of NFL Sunday Ticket and all things DirecTv. It has been terrifying at times, but I want to be brave enough to date again and trust a man with my heart. I don't want to be scared any more.
My birthday is in a couple of weeks and I am making my resolution: 25 was about healing, but 26 will be about living!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
My Newest Obsession
So after a disastrous return to the dating world, I am heading back into retirement. Having sworn off men, I needed a new focus. George Strait wasn't a good one because he is afterall...a man. Then there was the whole cleaning/cooking thing, but that lasted about...ummm...30 seconds. After that it was work, which lasted the longest, however burn out was inevitable.
I should pause here and say that I have learned two very valuable life lessons in recent weeks:
1. Don't date your car salesman, because when he turns out to be a jerk you will resist the urge to take a sledge hammer to your car every time you get in it. And let's face it, you spent waaaay too much money just to demolish it with an over-sized hammer.
2.Don't date your health coach because when he doesn't call you back and disappears for weeks on end only to resurface like nothing happened and no time has elapsed, you will be fighting the urge to binge eat on Ben & Jerrys and cookie dough at 3 a.m. The worst part is that your health coach is supposed to be the one you can call in those moments, but you can't because he happens to be the same emotionally stunted degenerate you are dating!!
The only thing possibly worse than dating your car salesman and your health coach is when one person embodies both of those roles in your life. Yes I am just that dumb!
So anyway...I digress.
The single good thing about being dating challenged is that I was introduced to a new diet that actually seems to be working for me. And in the light of this new found success, a new obsession was born. I am completely obsessed with weight loss. I count calories, workout, and resist National Doughnut Day at work (stupid Krispy Kreme doughnts were everywhere!)
My success has been minor over the past two weeks but I have lost 4lbs and my grandma is now frantically taking 4 inches off of a bridesmade dress that I have to wear in less than two weeks. That feels amazing. The first two weeks of the diet were a little rough due to the aforementionted dating disaster, however I have a new health coach and am finally on the right track.
I am thinking once I get to my goal weight I will have to buy a little black dress to wear when I go trade my car in...here we go again!!
I should pause here and say that I have learned two very valuable life lessons in recent weeks:
1. Don't date your car salesman, because when he turns out to be a jerk you will resist the urge to take a sledge hammer to your car every time you get in it. And let's face it, you spent waaaay too much money just to demolish it with an over-sized hammer.
2.Don't date your health coach because when he doesn't call you back and disappears for weeks on end only to resurface like nothing happened and no time has elapsed, you will be fighting the urge to binge eat on Ben & Jerrys and cookie dough at 3 a.m. The worst part is that your health coach is supposed to be the one you can call in those moments, but you can't because he happens to be the same emotionally stunted degenerate you are dating!!
The only thing possibly worse than dating your car salesman and your health coach is when one person embodies both of those roles in your life. Yes I am just that dumb!
So anyway...I digress.
The single good thing about being dating challenged is that I was introduced to a new diet that actually seems to be working for me. And in the light of this new found success, a new obsession was born. I am completely obsessed with weight loss. I count calories, workout, and resist National Doughnut Day at work (stupid Krispy Kreme doughnts were everywhere!)
My success has been minor over the past two weeks but I have lost 4lbs and my grandma is now frantically taking 4 inches off of a bridesmade dress that I have to wear in less than two weeks. That feels amazing. The first two weeks of the diet were a little rough due to the aforementionted dating disaster, however I have a new health coach and am finally on the right track.
I am thinking once I get to my goal weight I will have to buy a little black dress to wear when I go trade my car in...here we go again!!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Tattoos
I am seriously contemplating getting a tattoo. There is no particular reason for this other than I am bored. When I get bored I do things like go back to college, buy a car, engage in retail therapy, and apparently now tattoos. Right now my life consists of work, sleep, work, colds from hell, work, and more sleep. I need some adventure! I need something to break up the monotany. Last Monday I played hookie for the first time since starting my employment at DirecTv. I needed it. I needed a day of nothingness. However, the thrill of my own "Lindsay Bueller's Day Off" has quickly faded and I am back to the monotany of my life. Time for a tattoo!!! Woot Woot!! It has yet to be seen if I will actually go through with it or not. I talk a big game but I am pretty sure that bravery is something that will miraculously escape me when it comes time to actually have a needle inject my skin permanently with ink.
In other news, I received a promotion at work and am now a Team Support Specialist. Fancy title for something that means, I answer questions, take supervisor calls, and take about 50% less calls than before. I am very happy in life right now. I am contented.
Hooray Spring!
In other news, I received a promotion at work and am now a Team Support Specialist. Fancy title for something that means, I answer questions, take supervisor calls, and take about 50% less calls than before. I am very happy in life right now. I am contented.
Hooray Spring!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Been Forever...But Nothing New!
I don't even know how long it has been since I posted on here. The sad thing is that absolutely nothing new has happened. Work is still work, Gizmo is still a pain in the butt and still too cute to actually get mad at. The biggest thing that has happened to me is that I finally got a Blackberry. Pathetic I know.
Most of the things that have happened, have been changes on the inside. There has been alot of personal growth and much of my hard work is being rewarded. Most of the growth is too personal to share via the world wide web, but I can say that I am stronger. I am slowly starting to find the stability that I have been searching for, for my entire life. Everything around me is changing. Everyone around me is changing. I am growing and changing. Somedays I feel as I am being left behind. Like somehow my divorce has put me years behind my high school classmates and even my co-workers. Aren't I supposed to have a couple of kids by now? Aren't I supposed to be married and buying a house? I still have my moments of shame, like somehow I am walking around with a big, scarlet letter on my chest. I am slowly learning that where I am "supposed" to be is right here. Rebuilding my life right here in my little apartment. Starting over completely from scratch. I don't need to be married. I certaintly don't need kids (I can't figure out my dog). I am exactly where I need to be. I find myself getting in a hurry and having to fall back on my knees and ask God again to make me content where I am in life.
Everyday I have prayed for peace; and slowly, very slowly, I am finding it. That is all that is new.
Most of the things that have happened, have been changes on the inside. There has been alot of personal growth and much of my hard work is being rewarded. Most of the growth is too personal to share via the world wide web, but I can say that I am stronger. I am slowly starting to find the stability that I have been searching for, for my entire life. Everything around me is changing. Everyone around me is changing. I am growing and changing. Somedays I feel as I am being left behind. Like somehow my divorce has put me years behind my high school classmates and even my co-workers. Aren't I supposed to have a couple of kids by now? Aren't I supposed to be married and buying a house? I still have my moments of shame, like somehow I am walking around with a big, scarlet letter on my chest. I am slowly learning that where I am "supposed" to be is right here. Rebuilding my life right here in my little apartment. Starting over completely from scratch. I don't need to be married. I certaintly don't need kids (I can't figure out my dog). I am exactly where I need to be. I find myself getting in a hurry and having to fall back on my knees and ask God again to make me content where I am in life.
Everyday I have prayed for peace; and slowly, very slowly, I am finding it. That is all that is new.
Friday, January 1, 2010
New Year - Completely Fresh
So I am not going to make any resolutions this year. I have just decided that 2010 is going to be a fresh start. 2009 was tainted before it even began, but 2010 is fresh and new and going to be fantastic!! My goal this year is to put many things behind me and forge on into the future. I will smile and laugh more this year than any other year. I will find the good in every situation, and I will push myself outside my comfort zone and try new things. I will find contentment in every moment and I will not wish away one moment or second. I will no longer care about the court of public opinion. I will embrace my mistakes and no longer be ashamed of where I have been or where I am going. No more fear, no more pain, no more excuses! I simply cannot wait to see what this year has for me. I can't wait to see the adventures that life will take me on and I can't wait to find out who I will meet and where and what I will be writing a New Years post in 2011!
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Me 'n' Giz
Gizmo G. Moody
Amy & Lindsay
About Me
- Lindsay
- I am working hard and enjoying life. When I am not working, I am busy hanging out with friends and saving money for traveling. I am determined to live life to its fullest and experiencing absolutely everything I can!